there is something dark at St. Mark's

[nini]

after leaving the catholic church, I embraced the Episcopal way for its acceptance and tolerance. Now I find myself unable to attend my church after our deacon was driven away. In her last sermon she said that, after conferring with our priest and our bishop, she felt there was no choice for her but to leave. For several months there had been rumors and scandalous talk about her (anonymously!) and this was beginning to affect her family negatively, not to mention her mission. She was very ethusiastic, dedicated and did wonders for the Sunday school attendance. Everyone loved her or so it seemed. I was totally shocked; all I had noticed was that she seemed more subdued which I put down to fatigue. Our priest told the congregation that there were to be no questions asked, which to my mind created even more questions. I have spoken to several members of the vestry committee and no one is talking Now when I think of attending church, I know that I will be looking at others and wondering "did you do this awful thing". I do have my suspicions as there are a couple of parisioners who have not been very accepting of my as a former catholic.

I feel really sick at heart over this whole mess and have not been able to return to church since the day of the deacon's "resignation". My choice now is to attend another Episcopal church 15-20 miles away (not a great option in winter in Vermont) or to attend another denomination.

If I could discuss this with our priest, I might be able to get some resolution but she is adamant in her silence. Why not have just put the resignation down to "personal or family issues" So far I am the 5th person to have left St. Mark's.

[Canadian Phil]

I think it is important to remember that there are times when this kind of things happens and it isn't great, but it is predictable when we are dealing with fallable human beings. The same person can be incredibly gifted and incredibly helpful for some people in a congregation and completely leave others cold or worse than cold. I don't know the circumstances of what was going on at your church, but, really, from your description, it could be anything- conflict with the priest-in-charge, conflict with parishoners, anything. You simply don't know.

I don't know what to recommend. It goes against my catholic grain to recommend leaving your church (as you seem to have done) because, short of abuse and toxicity, it is usually better to stick it out in the hopes of helping things improve. Still, there are a lot of other variables which you know and I don't. There are times to leave a church and times to stay. Pray about it a bit more and try to discern where you're needed.

Peace,
Phil