Post by askned on Mar 25, 2013 12:18:09 GMT -5
A couple of years ago my marriage just about failed. My wife discovered that I had been going to Internet porn sites which I had thought was quite normal. However I discovered that not only did she not consider it normal but that she considered it infidelity and that she was furious. Not only angry but wounded- felt ugly and rejected. Bottom line was-quit the porn or get out! So, since I love my wife and my family I agreed to stop going to the porn sites.
OK! Except it turned out it wasn't so easy to lay down. In fact it appeared that I had developed an addiction to on line porn and couldn't seem to say away from it. So I found myself staying at work late or getting up early and getting on line- feeling really cruddy about it but did it anyway. I mean what was more important my marriage or my porn?
So she busted me again, ultimatum time. It was a no brainer to me, I love her and the kids and the porn is stupid but it had a grip on me. I later discovered that Internet porn is incredibly addictive to men, it stimulates the same centers in the brain as crack cocaine and we know how hard it is to kick crack.
So I finally discovered a solution. An Internet filter. I put a software wall between me and the porn and for a while it really worked well. But then I discovered that if I would only keep trying I could sooner or later break through the filter to a porn site and back to the mess. What now?
I the discovered that the filter also had an option called accountability reporting. This is an alert system that you can set up to send a text or email to an accountability partner such as a friend-or my wife which would alert them that I was trying to get to the porn sites. It would bust me. It worked. After I was busted the first time by my best friend and received an embarrassing call I decided that I would just stay clean. Weak willed? No doubt...but still married? Yes. There are a number of these filters around, I use one called www.wisechoice.net and it has been a marriage saver for me.
OK! Except it turned out it wasn't so easy to lay down. In fact it appeared that I had developed an addiction to on line porn and couldn't seem to say away from it. So I found myself staying at work late or getting up early and getting on line- feeling really cruddy about it but did it anyway. I mean what was more important my marriage or my porn?
So she busted me again, ultimatum time. It was a no brainer to me, I love her and the kids and the porn is stupid but it had a grip on me. I later discovered that Internet porn is incredibly addictive to men, it stimulates the same centers in the brain as crack cocaine and we know how hard it is to kick crack.
So I finally discovered a solution. An Internet filter. I put a software wall between me and the porn and for a while it really worked well. But then I discovered that if I would only keep trying I could sooner or later break through the filter to a porn site and back to the mess. What now?
I the discovered that the filter also had an option called accountability reporting. This is an alert system that you can set up to send a text or email to an accountability partner such as a friend-or my wife which would alert them that I was trying to get to the porn sites. It would bust me. It worked. After I was busted the first time by my best friend and received an embarrassing call I decided that I would just stay clean. Weak willed? No doubt...but still married? Yes. There are a number of these filters around, I use one called www.wisechoice.net and it has been a marriage saver for me.